FORBIDDEN FRUIT

Men are natural born predators, providers and protectors. Because we live in the age of the “independent woman”, sometimes women can interrupt the balance intended when it comes to a man pursuing a woman. We overthink, ALOT. I’ve received many messages from women, surprisingly confused, about why they can’t figure out that potential significant other or how they’ve pushed him away. 

Sis, give him time. This doesn’t require any outrageous action or a series of obstacle courses. 

I recently sat down with a panel of five men who identities will remain confidential. I also did the same with five women. These interviews were conducted separately without the knowledge of the interview of the opposite sex. 

Women simply want to be loved. They want what they’re putting out to be reciprocated. Where we are failing at, is wanting a certain man so much that we will accept any part of him. Putting his needs and desires before our own without him “showing” what his intentions are. This goes back to the foundation of “where is the self-love”? Nothing interferes with the ability to have an authentic, reciprocal relationship like low self-esteem. If you can’t believe you’re good enough, how can you believe a loving partner could choose you? 

Men are simple. They want to be everything we want and need, WHEN THEY ARE READY. Periodt! They don’t want an ultimatum or feel forced

into a situation that they did not willingly want. Here’s the catch, a man will allow you to pour yourself into him without reciprocation. Why? Only a man can answer this question. I interviewed a different gentleman to get an insight. His response: 

“My thoughts would be that, many guys love the feeling of being in control. So when a woman pours herself into him and becomes vulnerable, the man can recognize that. Once the man has seen you are vulnerable it almost gives the man the opportunity to think about what else he can possibly do. Whether it’s still talk to other people or not fully commit to that woman yet because he may feel that she’s at a place where he doesn’t think she will move around anytime soon even though he hasn’t fully committed to her.”

In short ladies, a man will do what you ALLOW. Every time you lower your standards or values, your value goes down. He doesn’t pursue you, you are not “forbidden fruit”. The cost of your stock decreases, but, only you know when you’ve had enough. Also remember, if the vibe isn’t right you have no obligation to accept less than you deserve. Stop fantasizing, be patient and remember you are the prize.

Jasi