Self-Love is your LIFELINE

Hey y’all, it’s Jasi. My apologies for

not blogging recently but I have been EXTREMELY BUSY since leaving corporate America. Favor! Now let’s get down to business. My blog primarily is about mental, emotional and psychological health.

There are times when I have so many things going on, and I have to sort my thoughts, have a woosah moment and let my keyboard take me away. I must admit I have been distracted, but the distraction has been a blessing in disguise. I had to sit down with my journal to organize an array of things and also catch up on messages from my readers. Amongst it all, I noticed a trend; self-love. 

Self-love starts with self. We often find ourselves in unhappy situations because we make concessions for others, hence, prioritizing their happiness over our owns. It’s not selfish to put yourself first. 

You may be that friend that people often lean on in times of need; to confide in, to help them maintain a balance. Sometimes it’s a necessity to step away for some spiritual maintenance. Don’t feel guilty. Friends who genuinely cherish you will be completely understanding. 

When it comes to romance, self-love is an entirely different entity. My block list has only gotten longer. Some men feel entitled, and they do not respect women the way we should be regarded. Stick to your boundaries and standards, be okay with having them. I say this because there are people in casual relationships, long distance relationships, newly established relationships, troubled relationships marriages, and SITUATIONSHIPS. I could go on, but I’ll leave it there...for now. 

To be quite honest, I did not reach my plateau of happiness until I removed romantic relationships and fell in love with the woman I had become after experiencing trauma. I use the term trauma because divorce in any circumstance isn’t easy. I had to get to my lowest point to decide to be unhappy or happy. And I had to rely on myself to get there. Happiness is a choice. I am truly blessed to have the support of my family; however, your happiness should not be placed in the hands of others. That would be the complete opposite of self-love. Healing is difficult for some people because their lives are centered around the trauma that they have experienced. Taking control of your life is imperative. Love you all.

Jasi💗

The Legendary Black Woman

Anxiety never sleeps. I still struggle with insomnia at times. I took a recent psychology class to educate me more about my struggles so that I may be beneficial to myself and others. In October, I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. The statistics that I was unaware of prior to educating myself, especially the one that likely affects me, were mind blowing. Studies have shown that being an African American woman puts me at a 20% greater risk for depression and anxiety. I suffered in silence, “being strong”, long enough. If the burden gets too much to carry, ask for a hand. I started this blog in November to bring awareness to mental and emotional health. This topic is near and dear to my heart.

Failure is an “illusion” and the idea you can’t have a fresh start will keep you broken and in a place of sadness. To fully understand how depression and anxiety affects women of color, we must first take a step back and see how we are “perceived”. Research and history tell us that three basic images exist-the Strong Black Woman, the Angry Black Woman, and the Jezebel/Video Vixen. These images affect how other people see Black women and how they see themselves. They also play a role in the development and maintenance of anxiety. (https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/be-female-anxious-and-black)

These perceptions can kiss my ass, excuse my language. The Black Woman is LEGENDARY. We are irreplaceable jewels of society. Not only in the present day. Maya Angelou, Wilma Rudolph, Ruby Dee, Harriet Tubman, Madam C. J. Walker, Shirley Chisholm and many more down to my recent day favs from Michelle Obama to Oprah and EVERY BLACK GRANDMOTHER. Shout out to MY grands Charline, who gratefully and gracefully still shares her wisdom with me on a regular basis and Ella Mae, may her soul rest in peace.

In schools, in the workplace, in professional settings and just walking down the street we often find ourselves struggling with anxiety. We are not crazy, shame on those who judge us for being brave to speak up and offer to help others in need. I will continue to educate myself and others about the lack of information and misunderstanding about mental health in the African American community. I have learned after recent trauma the importance of seeking help if needed. I also value my small support circle of girlfriends who I will soon reveal in a future blog. Sometimes outside of seeking help, a HEALTHY INTERVENTION may be needed. Some may prefer emotional support versus medical support. To my circle, you know who you are, thank you for listening to me, wiping my tears, constantly encouraging me and pushing me towards healing. I am forever grateful. To my men of color, love support and embrace the black woman.

Jasi

He loves me, he loves me not?

Okay he SAYS he loves you. He’s so madly in love with you, can’t live without you, you’re his rib lingo, right? Oh or my all time favorite, we can date “EXCLUSIVELY” but I’m not ready for a relationship. RUN!!! I can’t make this up, men really try us. Sis, are his actions in alignment with his words?....likely not. What does your intuition say? Our hearts are at a constant battle with the mind. If you read my January Queen of the Months feature, she considered being single a form of freedom. I agree. Setting standards and not settling allows you to easily weed out the liars and manipulators. Someone recently asked me if I believe in the 80/20 theory. What I will say is no man is perfect but the man who is ready to love you will make it undoubtedly known. Vulnerability causes us to be hesitant because in order to find true love you must expose your true self. Now I have a no need to waste our time mind state. I’m a single mom of three, I have a full time career and operate an independent business. In layman’s terms, don’t waste my time. I’ve literally had this conversation twice this week. I do not entertain men who have different expectations than what I have. I NO LONGER tolerate one foot in and one foot out situationships. Sis, it’s unhealthy. In my time of singleness I’ve found a fondness in other things. I have new hobbies, I’ve found interests in things I typically wouldn’t have and have built new HEALTHY PLATONIC friendships. Many women fear being alone and settle. I sleep peacefully not settling. I seek happiness. When a man truly experiences unconditional love, there are no excuses. Being in love is easy. If you have any doubts, knock his ass off the pedestal you’ve created. Remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Hold on to your freedom until God sends you a man who loves you so deep, the ocean would be jealous. Love you all!

-Jasi

Cheers to NEW BEGINNINGS!!!

First, New Year blessings! I diverted from what my first 2019 blog was supposed to be about; mourning. I prayed about it and something’s and people aren’t worth your energy when you’re elevating yourself. I am an unapologetic, imperfect Christian. I’m just a girl still finding herself. My story is being written by God as I write this post. I have many current opportunities that are allowing me to step out on faith this year. I will not worry. I will not doubt. I will nourish and create healthy relationships. Mental and emotional heath are still dear to my heart but I only be blogging once to twice per month. I will let my actions speak but 2019 has already been good to me. 

A few things to carry into the New Year to be mindful of:

-Love is easy

-Follow your intuition 

-It’s okay to be alone

-Remove all emotional depressing triggers regardless of affiliation 

-Watch the actions of others and make decisions accordingly 

-Being emotionally available to someone other than your partner is cheating

-Know who your riders really are. Anyone torn gotta go.

Oh...And Sis when the conversation gets shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. 

I am creating a masterpiece.

Chat soon! Blessings!

Christmas Eve with My Three Musketeers

This year we made Christmas ornaments and drank got chocolate. Even though I enjoy creating holiday memories and traditions with my babies, I do remind them JESUS is the reason for the season. Happy Holidays to you and yours! Blessings!

THE ASSASSIN LOVER

Whew, chile! Life has been so busy, and I apologize for the delay with this blog post. The children have had various commitments that I’ve had to prepare them for this week. Now let’s get down to business. Women by nature are caretakers. This hinders us when trying to love a man who is unworthy. Ever heard the saying “throwing rocks then hiding your hands.” This reminds me of the “unworthy man.” I, myself, am guilty of giving benefits to a man who has not SHOWN he is ready to invest Jasmin. Over time, this may become a depression trigger; the constant feeling of not being enough. The goal is to avoid and cut all triggers. Motives matter. HIS motives matter. You are the prize. Awakening a woman’s love is something that doesn’t happen overnight. A man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention to love her is a coward. A man who awakens a woman love with the plan to find flaws for a way out is a coward. A woman who awakens a woman’s love who can’t carry any burdens or baggage she may come with is a coward. Don’t do it, Sis. I believe transparency is vital. There is nothing wrong with looking a man in the eyes to discuss genuine intentions. And I say LOOK HIM IN THE EYES instead of texting because cell phones have taken away the intimacy out of relationships these days. Next time you go on a date, put your phone away. Don’t fall victim to a man who is unworthy of your love. Love is an ACTION word. Trust me, sleeping better alone peacefully is better. Below are some inspirational KINGS I follow on Instagram. The links have been provided. Happy healing!

-Jasi💗

(https://www.instagram.com/r.h.sin/)

See this Instagram video by @trentshelton: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq8xP3qDyxz/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY SIS!

Sisters are God’s way of reassuring mankind that pain exists, but so do healers. Happy birthday to one such sis! Thank you for being the perfect companion on this ride of SISTERSHIP! I love you beyond measure.